"be authentic" is BS advice.

Hey Climbers, today —

• The trouble with authenticity

• A new campaign from Burger King that’s copping some heat

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK
why “be authentic” is bs advice.

This week I downloaded TikTok again

(after we had a lover’s spat and then a two week break)

and so I was scrollin’

when I saw this video:

@katyrobinbird

“I’m not a zoomer-arounder like you…” The truth comes out. Some days, you just want to lay around all day. I get it. Life with a zoomer-ar... See more

The 3 year old girl says to her mum off camera:

“I’m just… not a zoomarounder like you… I’m more of a layarounder.”

You know what my first thought was?

I would kill for such a clear sense of identity.

This little kid

is so…

authentic.

The problem with “authenticity”

You hear this advice from social media coaches, personal branding experts and well-meaning parents all the time.

“Just be authentic and they’ll love you”

“authenticity is the key!”

they say it like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

but this advice always baffled me.

to be authentic, you have to:

1. know exactly who you are

2. know exactly how to ‘be it’

but for those of us with ~ childhood trauma ~

this can be really, really tricky.

Attachment vs authenticity

As kids, we have two fundamental needs:

1. attachment - love and connection with a caregiver. Without this, we may not survive.

2. authenticity - the ability to know and express one’s true feelings. Listening to ‘gut feelings’ has historically also been critical for survival.

So what happens when a child grows up in an environment where they perceive that being who they are will risk the attachment their life depends on?

They may suppress their true selves, instead building an identity around what will keep them attached.

Then, when we get to our 20s, 30s and 40s

We are left with this realisation:

we don’t really know who we are.

How this manifests in adult life:

You may have:

• built a large following

• have a successful brand or business

• be a public figure who is ‘killing it’

but you still have this nagging feeling that:

• the way you’re presenting doesn’t feel true to who you are or what you really want

• You haven’t really found your voice

• You don’t know how people perceive you

• You don’t have clarity on your unique skills

• You have no idea how to package it all to show the world

So, how can you find your true identity?

1. Detach yourself from the pressure of ‘authenticity’

“be authentic” is so much pressure.

It implies we all have one unchanging self

that we can just wake up one day and choose to ‘be’.

It’s unrealistic.

Instead, focus on exploration.

Give yourself the space and time to experiment with your identity.

Try things on:

Phrases, tones, values, interests.

Listen for the clues to who you are, without the pressure of needing to have the answer right away.

2. interoceptive awareness

When we make choices that align with who we are at our core, it may give us feelings in our body.

We’re taught to ignore these sensations as kids, but getting back in touch with them can be the first step to getting back to ourselves.

For example, when I make an aligned choice, I experience a sensation of opening in my chest area. A light expansiveness.

But when something feels wrong to me, it’s heaviness pushing down on my shoulders.

Start to tune into these feelings. It’s hard at first, but it gets louder the more you listen.

3. Work with a branding coach to understand how to package it all

Yes, this is the part of the newsletter where I tell you about my services. But the coach doesn’t have to be me.

It just has to be someone who approaches branding from the angle of amplifying what already exists in you, rather than manufacturing a new identity.

I really believe everyone has a unique thing.

All it takes is identifying it, and understanding how to express it to your audience.

And when I see that click in my clients,

everything else falls into place.

I’m offering a handful of 1:1 social & brand strategy packages this month

so if you’d like to apply, hit the button below.

CREATIVE INSPO OF THE WEEK
Things that made me feel creative this week

This clever new campaign from Burger King

tapping into an insight about what new mums want right after giving birth:

comfort food.

I like the double entendre on ‘delivery’.

A lot of people online are saying it’s immoral and outrageous

but idn. I like it.

it’s real.

Ok that’s all for now.

Until next time

Keep climbin’

Erica x